You Will Believe A Man Can Fly (and Make Women Wet)

Before you ask, it's tough to compare the new one to the old one because of the advances in technology. For example, in the original Christoper Reeves version the mere fact that they could make him look like he can fly was incredible? Now? Supes goes all out (and looks a whole lot better than when Neo took to the skies). In the past, he deflected bullets. Now, he deflects the entire magazine of a gattling gun AND a 9mm in the EYE.

So how do you compare it? Well, the new one has improved on Lex Luthor, that's for sure. I always found it hard to take the Gene Hackman Lex seriously because he was surrounded by absolute morons, making the bad guys look like an updated version of the Three Stooges. Kevin Spacey's Lex and goons may still have the comedic element (which, in my opinion, works better this time) but now Lex is really evil.

I like.

The story is steeped in the same traditions as the first two to the point that even the opening credits are the same (well, except for the cool CGI planet wizardry).

So here's the main question: how was the new Superman himself? Brandon Routh? Well, one thing's for sure - he's hot.

Now, I'm not saying this from personal observation. No matter how in tune I am with my feminine side I can't visually see another male as hot. Cool, yes. Hot, fuck no. But I have been told by many reliable sources that he is hot. Super hot. Hell, it was the first thing my girlfriend said about the movie, to the point where I knew she was thinking, "if they really did CGI his 'package' to look smaller, imagine how big it really is..."

(Come on. It's Superman. Why shouldn't Superman have a Superdick?)

But as great a Superman he was, his hottness is what, to me, proved to be his weakness. Why?
Because as Clark Kent, he couldn't hide it.

He just couldn't. Christoper Reeve did such a good job of playing Clark Kent you could believe that nobody noticed that Clark and Supes had the same build, same weight, same facial features, etc. Brandon just can't hide it. That's the only flaw for me when it came to the new Superman. Supes wasn't the problem. It was Clark. Clark just wasn't... Clark enough. Superman? Superman was a badass. But why nobody bothered scribbling glasses on his pictures to discover the truth is beyond me.

I also think this is the first time I've seen a guy on screen since Brad Pitt who has the ability to make women unanimously, all over the world, salivate from more than one orifice.