So, 'Ciplak' has been shown and all is done with it. Now, the only thing to worry about as far as that movie is concerned is the DVD, soundtrack (very overdue, I know) and perhaps a book on how I went about shooting the movie, since there are no reference books on the subject of getting a movie out in Malaysia (although the book will probably consist of pages from this blog, so I doubt you guys will be buying it).
Since then, I have been fielding offers to shoot things, no doubt stemming from the press I got from the movie as well as the Anugerah Skrin award I got last month. I am now an industry player.
And even though it's my first month in the 'industry', I'm not enjoying it much.
With all the offers coming at the same time, I wanted to make sure I struck while the iron was still hot, even though it means having to come up with a lot of ideas - at least three telemovies, a tv series and plans for my next feature film, as well as writing other scripts that I'd already agreed to do a while back. Combine that with the studio, the record label, the current editing jobs, the music videos, and it makes for a very busy Khai.
But the workload isn't really that much of an annoyance. I've had to deal with more than I can handle many, many times. No, what's bugging me right now is doing things the proper way. Working with companies. As well as the stigma of making a 10k movie:
The Curse of Ciplak
Whilst the whole '10,000 ringgit to make a movie' tidbit makes good press, it also brings up a question to producers: "if he can shoot a movie for 10k, why should we give him any more than that?"
This is annoying. Incredibly annoying. I've been working on super-low budgets for the past year and would like to have some financial breathing space where budgets are concerned so that I can at least pay my cast and crew, maybe rent a tripod and some lights, whatever.
Then there's the flip-side, the result of the cheap production values of a 10k movie: "his production values are appaling! Can he do a 'proper' looking/sounding movie?"
This is doubly-annoying. For the record, 85% of the budget was used tobuy a camera, leaving about 2.5k to actually produce the fucker. What do you expect, De Palma dolly shots?
Being Celup
Then there's the other stigma I've been noticing. I began to notice it at the after-party of the Anugerah Skrin and I'm noticing it even more now: people seem to think that, just because I wrote and directed a movie about urban, Westernized kids (or 'Celup's, as they're sometimes referred to), people seem to think that celup-stories are all I have. And whilst it's true that I still have some stories about this minor demographic rocking about in my head, there are other stories I want to do too, dammit! Genre stuff, horror, action, whatever, even straight up Malaysiana.
Television
Industry-wise, I'm still trying to understand television. I've only just understood the workings of the film industry, but it looks like television is a whole other ball game. The more I find out about things, the more it dissuades me, even though I really want to get into television because it's a medium that interests me and there's payment involved.
Yes, payment. I need to eat, dammit.
The lure of television has mainly been to keep my company afloat, more than anything. But the more I find out about how it works, the more I don't want to touch it, even though I know I need to if I'm going to keep getting my name out there and get enough income to keep going. But the rules, good God, the rules! Language and content, that's what's sticking in my craw more than anything. Which is why I've made a rule to not do anything that's too original or any idea that I care for too much when it comes to television because there's a chance that the story could be warped by these rules. But I never realized how much they could be fucked with.
Corporate Prats
And finally, there's the whole 'corporate' thing. The ding-dong-ing of approval through different levels of chains of command. The numerous comments that get filtered down to you after two weeks of waiting. Protocol? Fuck protocol! I'm sick and tired of protocol! I now find myself working with clients again, and especially on some more 'corporate' jobs, it feels like I'm in advertising again. Why? Because I can sense the cold, hard dick of the client thrusting up my rectum, that's why. And the second he cums he's gonna shoot a flurry of stupidity-semen up my ass and expect me to take it like a man.
Fuck that.
But I guess the main problem I've been having this month is an amalgamation of all this: the balance between wanting creative freedom and needing to balance the books. And whilst I know I have the ability to work out business strategies and documents and finances and accounts (but not actual accounting) I hate doing it because just thinking about it gives me huge migraines. I was working on a budget for a short film the other day and that alone gave me a killer headache that stuck with me the whole night, panadol be damned. I want to tell the stories I want to tell, but I need to figure out the money side.
Sigh... I need a sugar mommy.
