What's To Cut?

...not much, actually, and that's what's weird.

I read the document from the censorship board yesterday. And all I can say is this: I don't understand the criteria. I really don't. I mean, I'm glad that the movie's going to be released, I'm glad there aren't any cuts where I thought there would be, but I just don't get it.

For starters, the movie's going to be rated 'U'. That's right. 'U'. 'Accepatable For All Ages'. That, already, is weird. And you'd think, with a 'U' rating, they'd snip a shit-load, right? Nope. Any Tom, Dick and Harry can happily bring their child in to watch my movie, whereupon the child will leave the cinema wondering what a dirty sanchez is and ask his or her parents, friends and family members for the rest of her life. They'll be able to hear the words 'shit' and 'tits' uttered repeatedly, they'll be privvy to the ways of piracy smuggling...

But they won't see any suggestive sexual poses on calendars.

That's what needs to be cut, apparently. Two shots where my character flips through a calendar of women (scantily clad but notnaked) in suggestive poses.

For my next film, I'm just gonna shoot whatever I want and see what happens. I may be able to make my gross-out exploitative horror movie yet...