Natural Pills

The other day my girlfriend bought me a 'gift'. After putting up with my constant bitching over my tubby tummy she decided to get me some slimming pills. They were recommended by a friend of hers and made from all natural ingredients.

Apparently it's made from manggo's, but they taste less like manggo's and more like an indigineous tribesman's scrotum.

So I decided to take three before going to bed like it said I should. I woke up the next morning feeling no different. Of course. It's not like it's some miracle cure.

I then went to work and went about my worky work when it happened.

I needed to shit.

Now, those that have been reading this blog know that the toilet bowl and I share a bond and I have regaled many of you ardent readers with my many tales from the crapper.

This one, however was different.

I got in, sat down and WHOOMP! there it is. WHOOMP! WHOOMP! Huge chunks. I was literally shitting bricks. WHOOMP! SPLASH! WHOOMP! SPLASH! WHOOMP!

Half an hour later, I needed to go again.

WHOOMP! SPLASH! WHOOMP! WHOOMP! WHOOMP! KER-SPLASH!

And again.

WHOOMP! THUNK! CRASH! SMASH! SPLASH! KABOOM! FLUMP! SCHTOOMP!

And again.

I guess it's working then.