My First Real Friend in London

I was 12 when I returned to England after 6 years in Malaysia, and I wasn't prepared for it.

My adolescense was spent in the sunny climates of KL, riding my bike through the empty streets of Damansara Heights, playing Super Mario Bros 3 and Megaman and watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on TV. At first I didn't fit in, but by the time I was 12 I was finally fitting in. A regular Malay kid. I was a boy scout, I was taking Tae Kwon Do lessons, I was in Standard 5 and my mother finally allowed me to wear trousers instead of shorts to school so I'd never have to put up with my classmates doodling on my legs with a biro pen. I was being accepted, I was becoming confident, and I was ready to ask that girl Nadia who used to be in my class whether she'd want to go out sometime.

Two weeks from hearing the news, I arrived at Heathrow.

I remember the taxi cab, black and cold. I remember the sky a stone grey, clouds drizzling icy drops of rain on the window. The ancient buildings of London almost blended with the dark sky and the cracked pavements.

I remember not wanting to be there.

I remember the Holiday Inn where we spent our first few nights, a small room nowhere in comparison to the Holiday Inn's in Malaysia with their huge, sprawling rooms and mega sized pools. The mini-bar fridge was clamped with a padlock and Sky TV wasn't the norm yet.

I remember the apartment we lived in for the first few months. I remember my mother trying to save money by very rarely switching on the heating. I remember watching the Adams Family movie at the Odeon. I remember the toy museum. I remember sitting in Hyde Park with watercolours trying to paint.

I remember being alone.

I remember buying an Ed the Duck puppet. I remember flipping through some of the old newspapers in the apartment belonging to the past tenant and discovering page 3 of the Sun. I remember stealing photocopied ads for prostitutes offering O-levels in phone booths. I remember calling one and hanging up the second someone answered.

I remember when I got my uniform for Hendon Prep and feeling elated, implanting my love for suits and blazers. I remember making friends with Ramteen, Pradeep, Tamer, Yoshi, Simon, Harun and Misha. I remember spending break in the quad talking about last night's episode of Red Dwarf. I remember all of us having a crush on Dana. I remember the look she used to give me, like I was the equivalent of a used cum rag.

I remember the first time I lost it.

We were changing after PE in our classroom, and Ramteen Shariat and Simon Rossenblatt noticed my vest (or as I used to call it at the time, my singlet) was full of holes, a natty little vest, and they started taking the piss. I just kept quiet as they kept on and on and on.

That's when I grabbed the wood-saws.

I crept up behind Simon and slowly placed aimed them above is shoulders as he was doing imitations of me. Or my mother. I can't remember. Ramteen was laughing, then he saw what I was doing and yelled for Simon to move. I then tried to get at Ramteen. Whatever happened next is blank but there was no blood and I was outside the classroom crying as one of the teachers came up to me and consoled me.

I remember talking about how things at home weren't great. I remember talking about my problems as I unpacked my stuff from my locker as Ramteen stood at the side, silent after a good telling off from the teacher. I broke that silence with my ramblings. Ramteen had had enough.

"You think your life is shit?! That's nothing! My dad left the house when I was a kid!" he yelled.

It's amazing how a the hardship of others puts your life into perspective.

Ramteen and I were close friends after that. We'd hang out at his house, watch Red Dwarf or Lawnmower Man or Knight Rider: the Movie and eat Iranian rice his grandmother would prepare. Birthday parties. Water fights. Talking about whether or not we caught a glimpse of Dana's panties.

When we went for our GCSE's, most of us went to the same school, Mill Hill, and most of my Hendon Prep friends changed. Adapted. Before you knew it, they were listening to jungle, carrying vinyl bags to school and saying 'wicked' a lot. Even Ramteen.

But he never was a prick when we hung out. He never tried to pretend he was above me. A straight up mate through and through.

Last time I saw him was during the Mill Hill reunion. I wonder what that fuckers up to these days?