Hammer Time

For those who've never been to my little Hub, it's designed in a very interesting way. The staircase is in the middle, leading up to the skylight, making the rest of the ground floor pretty much like a square doughnut. From entering the house, you turn left to the living room and work area, turn right and you end up in the drum area, turn right again and there's a door to the kitchen and turn right one last time to another door to exit the kitchen and take you right back where you started, all the while with the staircase in the middle.

When we're recording in the Hub, in order to not piss off the neighbors we try to let as little sound as possible leak out, so we close all the doors. Once when we were recording the Reverend wanted to go to the kitchen. A few minutes later he couldn't get out. The door knob was stuck. No matter how much you twisted the knob it wouldn't budge.

This was a couple of months ago, and since then that door hasn't been opened, so instead of the square doughnut shape of before, the living room became a horseshoe.

Now, I'm not a big believer in Feng Shui or anything like that, but ever since that day the house didn't feel... right. I could sense, deep down, that something was amiss. Not being able to open that door didn't let things flow properly. I can't explain it, I just knew things weren't right. So today I decided to fix it.

I took out my toolbox and started work. First I tried to find the little button on the doorknob to allow you to dismantle it. No such luck. Then I tried prying the lock open with a pair of pliers. No luck there. Then I tried everything from the otherside. I tried to find the mechanism. I tried to find something I could understand, physically, so that I could fix it.

After an hour of sweating in a hot kitchen trying to figure it out, I gave up and picked up the hammer and started whacking the damn thing in frustration, hoping I'd break it off completely, leaving a big hole in the door but at least the fucker would open.

After three or four whacks, the door knob was fixed and opens properly.

My flatmate in university used to say whilst fixing things "when in doubt, give it a clout". Those words have never rung more true. To hell with DIY manuals. Just beat the fucker with a hammer.