On-Line Relaxation Exercise Experiment

Today, I'd like to try something different. I went to the doctors the other day and she recommended this for relaxation and stuff. Supposed to clear your mind, help you get through the day, whatever. It may seem a bit weird, but just bear with me for a minute as we try this out. Just read the words and follow the instructions carefully. I want to see whether this works by just reading it (P.S. Don't forget to tell me whether it works).

Are you sitting comfortably? Good. Then we'll begin.

Now, first off, I want you to close your ears. That's right. Shut out all the distractions and noise. Stick your hands on your ears. Try and shut out as much sound as you can. If you need to scroll down, try and be quick about it, or use some other limb or maybe an elbow.

Close your ears and slowly, ever so slowly breath in a relaxed fashion.

...got it? Good. Keep those ears closed. Don't let the outside world fool you. This is a test. Please bear with me, you'll love it.

Now, keep your ears closed, keep breathing very slowly and relaxed. In through your nose, out through your mouth.

There you go. Forget about the outside world. Forget about work, parents, responsibilities, the phone. Forget about the people around you, make them dissapear in your mind. All you have are THESE WORDS. These are the only words that are important now. Keep breathing. Keep shutting out the world.

Now, slowly tilt your head up and down, very slowly. Up when you breath in, down when you breath out. Up when you breath in, down when you breath out.

That's it. That's it. Very good. Now, keep doing that.

Ok. Here's the tricky bit. Whilst your doing that, repeat the words below. Not loudly, just under your breath. Nobody needs to hear you, but you can't just say it in your head, your lips need to move, in time with your breathing. The first line when you breath in, the second line when you breath out. And repeat.

SHAMASTIKA

HADRASTIVA

SHAMASTIKA

HADRASTIVA

SHAMANTARA

CHARANKALA

SHAMANTARA

CHARANKALA

RASTANDIVA

SANTANIKA

RASTANDIVA

SANTANIKA

AYAMLYKA

EVENLEEFA

AYAMLYKA

EVENLEEFA

Congratulations. I've just made you do a bunch of stupid shit simply because I said it'd be good for you. You probably look a right fucking tit right now, don't you?